Minimal Christmas With Kids + Tips For Navigating The Season

As a child, Christmas was my most favorite time of year. I loved the lights, the magic, the wonder and the feelings surrounding the holiday season from Thanksgiving all the way to the New Year. I always looked forward to the music, making memories, and the apple cider. Somewhere along the way, those feelings turned to resentment and loathing for the whole season. A minimal Christmas has helped rekindle those fond feelings.

Thinking back, my most cherished Christmas memories have NOTHING to do with the gifts, the food, or anything but time together. I live in Mississippi so snow is quite the anomaly. To our delight one Christmas, it actually did snow. I remember how much fun we had in the snow (more like a dusting, but we take what we can get). The weather put a halt to the busyness and allowed us to just be together. The whole world stops for Southerners when the words snow, ice, or freezing rain are uttered. Heaven forbid we drive in any precipitation besides rain! But the forced slowness of that Christmas is still one of my favorites.

We used to spend Christmas Eve at my Grandparent’s house. I remember the antics from my silly uncle, singing Christmas carols together, and my Granddaddy chuckling at all of us in his horn-rimmed glasses. I don’t remember a single present from all of those nights, but I remember the time we spent together.  The laughter still resonates in my mind and watching my older cousins and wanting to be exactly like them. I remember the huge hair that was so cool in the 80’s and where the tree was. I remember graduating from the kid’s table to the adult table!

The older I got, the less I cared for the season. I began to see how much it stressed my Mom out. She handled the holiday details in our home from gift buying, cooking, planning, scheduling, decorating, and everything else that goes into the holidays. Daddy helped too, but it was (and still is) usually from a detailed instruction list. Now that I have my own family, I have assumed the same role as my Mom did for us. My husband, the same as my Dad. Dragging all of the decorations down and opening box after box just felt like overwhelm. Why do I have this again? The Christmas spirit was so far from my heart.

I also began to realize how expensive it is. Once I had my own kids to do Christmas for, the financial burden was suffocating. I wanted to give my kids the world and everything they asked for. My husband took extra shifts and did everything he could to add some extra money to the season. The thing was, he didn’t get to enjoy any of it with us. He grew to dislike the holidays, and so did I.

I actually began dreading the holidays. I wanted it to be about time with friends and family. Most importantly about the birth of Jesus. I wanted to go to the Christmas Eve service and leave with the wild butterflies in my stomach I had at one time. BUT I did not feel any of those things. It was just stress…and dread…and ba humbug. We were trying to go to every event, every family gathering, every house, just all the things. We didn’t spend any time making our own traditions, and if I am really honest, time together. I was trying to chase the fuzzy feelings I remember as a child. Funny enough, we didn’t need to do more or have more, we need less. So much less!

Over the last three Christmases, we have made several adjustments. I also have a plan forming for this season. Our Christmases have changed in three main areas. We started with…THE GIFTS! Then the food and then the events of the season.

We cut the number of gifts we give our kids. We cut the amount we spend on family. I love to craft and I try really hard to give thoughtful gifts without spending a fortune. It may take a little more advance planning, but it usually pays off. I want to give intentional gifts and not just more stuff.

Here is what we do for our kids:

Something they want- The most wanted toy/item on their list. I usually wait until about a week or two before Christmas to purchase this since their little minds change so fast.

Something they NEED- This could be new clothes or shoes. This year it will be bikes because theirs are too small. Last year was luggage. Maybe they need a special item for a sport or hobby like catchers gear or cheer lessons.

Something to do- This is an experience gift. My daughter got a “date” to lunch and a gift card to Claire’s last year. My son got a “date” to the movies. This year, I think it will be a bounce house or Build-a-Bear. My daughter still talks about her Claire’s trip and is the only gift she can remember from last year. Experiences matter.

Something read- A new book or set of books. I have no problem with books as gifts. Cultivating a love of reading is something that will benefit them forever.

Something for me-This is a specialty item. For example, a necklace, scrapbook from the year, a keepsake of some kind, or even a donation to their savings account. This could even be something that you wouldn’t normally buy, like a name brand something. It should be truly special and something you wouldn’t ever normally do.

Something for family-We can all do this together. Board games, cards, blocks, art projects, or day trip.

Stockings! I love doing stockings, so that tradition has stayed. I always do their favorite candy, socks, undies, toothbrush, DVD, ponytail holders, small figures, whatever. Just little things I know they will like/use.

Here’s the thing. That is it. That is all they get from Mom and Dad as well as Santa. Santa brings 3 gifts (like the three wise men) and a stocking. All of the rest come from Mom and Dad. I also refuse to force things into these categories. If the ideas don’t naturally come or I struggle to fit the category, I pass. If it isn’t an intentional gift I know they will love and use, I’m not going to get it just because.

How do I handle gifts from family? Graciously. I have expressed to the grandparents and other family members that we are trying to simplify and would like for them to try and be intentional when buying for our kids. I have tried to give ideas when asked as well. BUT, will I say anything about an abundance of gifts? No. We still appreciate them loving on our babies. Just because we limit it, does not mean that everyone else has to follow our rules. It is just their way of showing love to our kids, and I am okay with that. We are so fortunate to have people in our lives that want to give and love on us and our kids. I don’t take that for granted.

One way to handle the influx of toys is to purge before Christmas. Let them donate them to kids who may not have toys for Christmas. We make it about empathy and helping others. My son has a really hard time letting go of toys so I take the “we have to make room for new things!” route. It isn’t my favorite way to handle it, but it works for my three-year-old.

With that being said, all of the new toys coming in go through the same purging process as the others. After a month or so, if it isn’t played with, it goes. Gifts shouldn’t come with conditions. If it was given to you or your kids, it is up to you what to do with them. Even if that is to bless another child with the toy.

Gifts Shouldn’t Come With Conditions.

The food. Why on earth do we need all of that food on one day? I just don’t get it. Yes, I love turkey, ham, cranberry sauce, and the whole lot, BUT it usually ends up falling on one or two people to make all of it for the others to just sweep in, eat, and leave you with the dishes…again. Nope.

For the last several years, I have boycotted the traditional Christmas dinner. Instead, we have opted for really nice steaks, a VERY scaled down version of the traditional foods, or a big pot of homemade chicken and dumplings. I haven’t missed the extra one single bit. My husband said he did miss it but was not willing to cook it himself, so that solved that. 🙂 It just feels like a whole lot of extra stress for no reason. The whole atmosphere has been more relaxed because of releasing that burden.

There are things that we attend during the season that requires us to bring a dish. Pick something easy. My go-to list includes a fruit tray, veggie tray, pigs in a blanket, chips and really easy dip, 10-minute homemade pimento cheese, or bread. See? Easy. Nothing complicated. During an already stressful season, pick a different battle. If cooking is your thing and that is what you love, then go for it but do not stress yourself out for people you don’t really know or may not even like. I enjoy baking, but during the holidays, it feels more like a chore and another “to do” than something that fills me with joy. Take the easy road.

The other part of Christmas that stresses me to no end is the running. Be here this day, these people are only here for two days, lunch on this day, flying road trip to see the next family. It always sucks the joy right out of the season for me. My husband has a strange shift schedule and trying to squeeze everything in between his shifts leaves us all irritable and just dang tired.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and friends and want to see them all when I can. But cramming it all into a 10-day span…I am raising my white flag. I surrender. This year, I will be the “bad” person and say “no”. Enough. My husband and kids come first. Yours should as well. By saying “no” to everything else, I am saying “yes” to my family. I want to spend some quality time together. I want them to play with their toys Christmas morning and not rush off to the next “to-do”.

Here is my plan for this year. I am fortunate to get about 10 days off at Christmas. I plan to schedule my days in advance. This sounds really crazy and isn’t the whole point of time off to not have a schedule? Yes…and no. So here is how this works. I am going to take my handy little calendar and write in all of the things I WANT to do during the holidays. Not what everyone thinks I should do, but what I really want to do. For example: Ride around and look at lights with hot chocolate

Ride around and look at lights with hot chocolate
Family day to the bounce house
PJ Day (no makeup, no cleaning, just PJs and snuggling all day)
Go see my Grandfather
Christmas Eve Service
Date night

All of these things are going on assigned days. I am also going to schedule “free days”. This means that we have nothing planned. If something comes up we want to do, awesome. If we don’t want to do it, we already have plans (our free day), or we get just that…a free day. See where I am going with this? So by scheduling our holidays in advance, I can keep the season intentional and end up with more time to rest and be with my family than if I had no plan at all.

I am determined to work on a low-stress holiday season full of love, joy, family, Jesus, and intention. How are you going to handle the holidays?